logisticizing emotions and things

I realized quickly that you can only prepare so much for a move such as this. People have been asking me questions for MONTHS about the transition; how I would live, what I would do, etc.  Each time I answered, I meant what I said, but there was also an echo in my head of their questions..."What WOULD I do...How much WOULD I miss modern conveniences...How will I keep my self busy after working so much before?"  I really did try to process what the change would be like, but how can one predict how one would feel?  So as each day progresses and new experiences are had, I learn. Some moments are more secure than others; some emotions are more calm than others...but as I look around and see the beauty of island life and see my fiancee (finally in the same country, town, community, and space!) I remember why. *smiling inside

Preparation required not just physical but also psychological energy. The physical came easy. And I had time: move things, pack things, separate/organize things. These things I don't need, these things will be saved for the boat, these things will be saved for winters, these things I am not sure of, these things I DEFINITELY won't need, and these things I can't ever get rid of. Those were my piles in the condo and slowly each pile found it's new home (some permanent and some temporary) in the trash, in my car, at my dad's, in the luggage, or in a box. And I didn't have to to do it all now. Just enough to get out of the way for the "condo sitter" to feel comfortable in my place for some months.
The psychological wasn't so easy as you will see further in words ahead. While I really wanted more simplicity in my life, it was hard to think about letting go of all the "things" in my life. "Things" I had earned, worked hard for, surrounded and comforted me, and at some level defined me. As we've heard before, our possessions often end up owning us, right? And, no, I really didn't want that. Things are just things and when you are away from them, you often forget what you even have and realize what you really don't need. *reminder* (will often need such reminders as the days pass)
So not only was I trying to prepare myself for "the move", I was also trying to close a private practice (client relationships, self-dependence, steady income) and my hospital work (that I started as an intern in an environment and with people I had known and worked with for 10 years), PLAN A DESTINATION WEDDING, and a reception party in Florida.

EEEEEEkkkkkkkkkk, is right!#$*^!!*&$%^!! 

As I went through the motions and talked, emailed, and dealt with what I needed to...I was coping, right? Well, most of the time...until something stressful happened that became the symbolic straw and I would be in a puddle of tears realizing what the hell was really going on- EVERYTHING WAS ALL HAPPENING. But after each cathartic emote, I was back on track again, doing what I needed, as my mom puts it *smile, to "keep plugging along".