feeling useful...

One of the challenges of these last days has been to "feel useful".  I am so used to working and doing "the thing I did", that that question rarely came to be. I was useful. I was productive. I was DOING.  But now in a new environment, where I am not the boss (but still the boss of me ;) ), I strive to help out and do things to reach those same goals...of course on a much different scale. I noticed that I was subconsciously looking for some validation; Am I doing ok? Is this what I am supposed to be doing? How can I be of help?
Ben has so graciously reminded me that perspective and life is different here. It's not about go, go go, gogogogogogogogogogogoggooooooo. It is more about go a little, a little more, take a breath, go a little, look around, go some more, talk to people around, go a little more, do some yoga stretches, read a chapter, go a little more... well, you get my drift.
"Slowing down to the speed of Life", as Carlson & Bailey wrote in '98 (and I read 11 years ago and need to re-read now... and this IS my life. Yes, of course, there will be hard working days and stressful days, but not like a city rat race again.
Ben told me that me just BEING here all that was needed and I deserved all the wonderful things I have and will get <3
BEING: something I have done in spurts and now need to do more of; consistently.
Something we all need to do more of; slow down, enjoy each other, and BE- this is why we are here~ marinate in that love!
I think the time of day will matter less and less and I will get used to Ben erasing the clocks in the kitchen and be okay with it...and we will just BE in the day. and BE with each other. and BE on this earth.